For your date [Online Dating first meeting FIRST DATE] when you're arranging it on the phone, he'll say, "Thursday
you know, seven o'clock." ...NEAR HER. You don't meet halfway. This is romance. Not business.
"Maria, I really like you. I want to meet you. What's your phone number?" He says,
"Yes, let's, let's meet. I want to ask you out on a date. Asks for your phone number and or giving you his [phone number].
I prefer safety protocol that the man gives his phone number first and the
lady responds with hers. And I don't want to give out my if you... I have my phone
number at like my professional website stuff but it's like for guys on online dating
I don't want to give my phone number out to everybody out there.
The other side is from men having her phone number is you might be emailing [messaging] with
three men named David [background giggle of recognition from female attendees] or ones named Dave and two are David and one's John.
And one is Jon J-O-N and the one's John J-O-H-N.
[Then he phones her] "Hi. It's John from Yahoo." She's thinking to herself, "Which one?!" You mean hate
to say that. You know they know we're emailing other people but it's like we
want to say that. So I want for all these all the above reasons I want the
other way around. That's like so like when when Darius [single man in his 40s dating seminar attendee] is going to email her,
he'll give her his phone number first. It creates safety and security for her.
It's just like how she feels, [exhale of feminine relief] "Okay. I think right I can give him my phone number now."
And then she reply with yours [giving her phone number to him in the message exchange] I just want to, the PUA Pick Up Artists Guys who are [saying]
"No! I have to GET HER phone number. I DON'T give her mine. All this.
And I'm like, "Fine. Different tactic. You have a different goal. You are not aiming
to create safety and security for the lady. If he wants a relationship,
he might stumble a little bit, but he WANTS to do that. Because, of course,
you know we all get about protecting, protecting and creating safety.
[For the FIRST DATE] In general ,unless it's that's by him not you, so I recommend it's [the FIRST DATE venue] hear her.
If he's inviting me to meet him for drinks like sort of for Orange County [demonstrating physical distance examples].
Gosh, I had one guy back when I you know, was not OFF the market yet
who was I think in Riverside County [1 County to the West of Orange County, about 1 hr away on the weekend. Reasonable drive in Southern California terms.] He knew [where I lived]. He was the one who approached me.
He knew where I lived, Wanted to [just] meet for coffee. I'm okay that we meet for coffee [for a FIRST DATE].
But if we're gonna meet for coffee, it's going to be a nice place and YOU're coming a little bit closer to me.
He picked a halfway point. And I'm like,
"It's for coffee," I think I was gonna spend more on gas [auto fuel, petrol] you know it's like...
[Ladies are] We're getting ready. We look lovely. It took us an hour you know us
ladies, we like make an effort to look good [usually]. All this takes time. I want that
it's not so much about money as money only but it's like cost and effort [to look GREAT for the FIRST DATE, all the prep time, effort, and expense and the drive to/from there].
So if all he's doing is fine like spending a dollar fifty to buy me a cup
of coffee and I spent more than that Money. Time. Effort. Preparing Energy.] plus gas for the date, it feels like,
The inequity feels really off balance. So and that's typically right you know
and that's typically which is also why it's like at the same time it's a first
meeting date. I am NOT expecting him to go take me to Fleming's [a very high priced Orange County fantastic steakhouse] you know and
even like a drink at Flemings unless it's on like the discount menu for like
during happy hour. It's like a drink at Fleming's is like 15 bucks.
I'm like it's more than it is on The Strip in Las Vegas at like the top hotels. [This was in 2011. Everything is higher now.]
So I was like, "Now I know and I won't be doing that again."
[As a Classy Lady] It's not, I don't want to bilk him financially, at the same time I don't
want order the cheapest or the most expensive thing on the menu [Good Etiquette as I was taught.] It's about
an adult venue. So he, when he suggested like this halfway point, I came back with,
"I would feel more comfortable," - feminine phrases "feel" most men really can't argue
over feelings with a woman. If he starts to, then he's you know whatever. [A clod or a cad!]
it's so he starts to say like more than a half hour from you, towards him, then it's...
What's actually starting to happen and all the reasons why is it's about it's both be a
gracious gentleman [chivalry to go to near her], it's also about your [her, the ladies'] physical safety. If [the FIRST DATE venue] it's an area you [the single women attendees] are
not familiar with, VERY familiar with, then it's not only about him and there
being a problem. It's about you walking to it from your car to from the parking
lot and all of those [physical safety] things.
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