- I have people that stare at me all the time
because I do walk with a limp and I have some odd movements.
But I don't mind that because at least they're looking.
Then I have the opportunity to tell them my story.
- When Albert Einstein was a child, people told him
he'd never amount to anything because he was dyslexic.
People also told Franklin Roosevelt
that he'd never be president because he couldn't walk.
And Ray Charles, that he couldn't
read music because he was blind.
Imagine what our world would be like if they believed it.
What Lies Beneath: Seeing Beyond Disability,
this week on MI Health Mind.
Let's talk about it.
(soft upbeat music)
Welcome to MI Healthy Mind.
I'm Michael Hunter.
Marina Morris was a Russian orphan
who was born with cerebral palsy
and brought to the United States at the age of six.
Marina does not think of herself as disabled.
She's never thought of herself as disabled.
That's mostly because she was brought up
by parents who didn't see her as disabled
and who would not allow her to see herself that way.
It made all the difference.
Today, my colleague, Elizabeth Atkins,
talks with this remarkable young woman.
- Marina, welcome to MI Healthy Mind.
- Thank you, I'm very very happy to be here.
- We're glad to have you.
- So you're a college grad, a business professional,
a public speaker, and an accomplished golfer,
and by the way, you have cerebral palsy.
Tell us who you are.
- Who I am.
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
I am a scholar.
I graduated Adrian College in 2014.
I also paint as well.
Like I said, I'm a wife.
I am a business professional.
- So Marina, in describing all these wonderful
things that you do, you never mentioned cerebral palsy.
- I would never do that because although
it's a part of who I am, it's not who I am
by any stretch of the imagination.
- Let's start from the beginning.
Tell us about your background.
- I was born in Russia and I was adopted
from Russia when I was five years old.
Then later, I was diagnosed with cerebral palsy.
- So tell us what is cerebral palsy?
What causes it?
What are the characteristics of it?
- Cerebral palsy is a neuromuscular disorder,
which causes a variety of different symptoms.
Like autism, it ranges, so you have people with mild CP
and then you have people with very chronic CP.
The kind that I have is called
dystonic hemiplegia, which means that
it affects my right side of the body.
My hands shake and I do walk with a limp.
So this is my hand, this is my right hand.
It's always in that position, going that way.
This is me controlling it with my mind
to make sure I don't shake more.
But if I stop controlling it, this is what it does.
It'll turn off when I'm sleeping and stuff, and all that.
But this is what it does on a normal basis.
Then I also walk with a limp.
Some people with CP though, they're in wheelchairs.
They have things called laryngeal spasms,
so it's very difficult for them to talk.
Their muscles are more like this
and it's difficult for them to use their hands,
or to use their feet, or to use any part of the body.
- Is it permanent?
- It is.
You're born with it.
It happens at birth.
(soft piano music)
(light guitar music)
- Hello, there.
My friends at the Cerebral Palsy Foundation
asked if I have any advice on how
to start a conversation with someone who has disabilities.
So maybe let's start with what not to do.
Don't mumble, or stare, or blurt out
an intimate detail from your own life.
And whatever you do, don't speak extra loud
as if you think being in a wheelchair
is somehow the same as wearing noise canceling headphones.
Frankly, those aren't particularly good ways
to start a conversation with anyone.
(light guitar music)
Essentially, the best thing to do is just say hi
and then go from there.
(soft piano music)
- When somebody is described as having
this, in effect, brain injury,
they have certain limitations.
When it's then described as the label of disabled,
it allows them to qualify for certain services.
Unfortunately, that label can turn
into something negative because it can stigmatize
that person from how other people see them.
That can limit them in terms of what
they think of themselves as being able to do,
or limit us from being able to see them as a whole person
to see behind what that label
is and see them as who they really are.
- So having cerebral palsy and living in
an orphanage in Russia, what was that like?
- It was tough.
I don't think the Russian orphanage
really knew what was wrong with me.
They knew that something was different.
But living in an environment where
the kids would make fun of me, or push me, or pull my hair
because I was different, that was tough.
- How did the adults treat you?
- Not very well.
Not necessarily because I had cerebral palsy,
but the orphanage didn't have a lot
of money to give to the kids.
They didn't have a lot to work with,
so they tried their best.
But being different, the adult, our mama
knew that I was different, and she definitely
made it known to other kids.
It was rough.
- So in that environment, how did you view yourself?
- I didn't think I was different.
But being six, I didn't really think too much of it.
If you look here in society today,
kids are very much less quick to judge than adults.
So I didn't see myself as any type of different person.
- Can you describe the physical
environment that you were in?
- Yeah.
When I close my eyes, I can see it perfectly.
You had stairs, I had.
Each kid had their own locker and their own bed,
And each kid had a picture on their locker and bed.
I was a fish, which is ironic.
Get this, okay.
I was a fish.
My name is Marina, which means the sea in Russian,
and it's a place where you park boats in America.
So it's perfect, I was a fish.
So we weren't really known for our names.
They kinda just knew us by the animal
that we were associated with, which again,
I didn't know the difference.
Living in a very tight orphanage,
I didn't know anything about the outside.
I didn't know what life was supposed to be like.
I didn't know what a mom and dad was.
I thought this was my normal.
It was my normal.
I didn't know anything else.
- Marina, did having cerebral palsy
serve as a hindrance to you being adopted?
- Yes.
At some times I was because I knew
that I knew was different, so I always
thought what mom and dad could
possibly want a little girl with
shaky hands and that walks with a limp?
I wasn't normal, I was different.
I always thought to myself there's no way
that some mom and dad is gonna want a defective kid.
There was just no way that anybody would take me.
That was a rough thing to think about when you were six.
- Did you see other kids being adopted around you?
- That was so hard.
Before my mom and dad finally got me,
my best friend was adopted and that was tough.
Because he was about the only one
that was nice, friendly with me, and nice with me,
and treating me the same as everybody else.
To watch kids go out of the orphanage forever
and never get to see them again, that was tough.
Because I really really wanted that.
I didn't want to stay there forever.
- So tell us what it was like when your parents showed up.
- Ah, okay.
Oh my gosh, it's so hard to describe
the moment that I saw them.
Because unless you're in that moment
or in that situation, it's hard to describe.
When I first saw my dad, my mom and dad
have a picture of me, my hand was tiny.
He stuck out his finger and I was holding his finger.
At that moment, I'm like I'm absolutely sure
that these guys are here to take me home.
I was so happy.
Oh my gosh, and when after my dad
gave me a hug, and my mom came to me, I was floored.
I'm like I've never seen a more
beautiful woman in my entire life.
I'm like if this woman is here
to take me home, I'm okay with that.
If I grow up looking like her,
I'm completely okay with that too.
She was beautiful and I was so lucky.
- So Marina, tell us about what it was like
when you came to the United States
and learned why your parents adopted you.
- My parents got a book of all the children
in my orphanage and they were flipping through it.
My dad told me, "One of the main reasons
"why we adopted you is because you were
"the only one smiling," and to this day,
I'm just still smiling because I'm so
blessed and lucky to be here.
I mean you can't imagine what it was like
going from living with 30 other kids,
not having anybody to really look up to or to love you.
Going from there to a place,
I walked into my bedroom for the first time,
and I saw stuffed animals, I saw a bed,
and I saw blankets, and I saw so many clothes.
The most important thing I didn't see is another kid.
- So you're six years old.
You're in the United States and you're starting school.
What was that like?
- Oh my gosh.
The first day of school, they dropped me off and they left.
I thought they left me for good.
Because mind you, I come from an orphanage
with 30 other kids, in a building.
They drop me off in a building
with 30 other kids and I thought to myself this is it.
I'm too much of a bad girl.
There's no way they're gonna come back.
This went on for a good couple of weeks
until I realized okay, I'm here to stay.
They had to reassure me.
I didn't speak very good English at the time,
so for them to communicate that with me was pretty rough.
But eventually, I'm like okay, they'll be back.
I hope they'll be back.
So that was rough, but.
- How did you feel amongst the children?
How were you treated?
Were you bullied?
- [Marina] No.
- No?
- [Marina]I was not in America, no.
They knew that I was different.
But they didn't treat me any differently
than any of the other kids.
I could play, I could play on the monkey bars,
I played on the swings, I took naps with them.
I played Legos and everything else.
I could do everything they did,
but I just did it in a different way.
So there wasn't much of a struggle between
them seeing me for something other than my cerebral palsy.
They just didn't know.
They didn't care.
I was a kid, just like them and I wanted to play with them.
So they didn't care.
- So Marina, it sounds like your
parents were extremely supportive.
Can you tell us about your mom's personality,
your dad's personality, and how they encouraged you?
- [Marina] Yeah, absolutely.
I'll start with my dad.
My dad was the very compassionate dad.
He always made sure that things were okay for me,
and if I would go to him crying and say,
"This person made fun of me," he would make me feel better.
He was compassionate.
If I didn't wanna do something,
he was like, "Okay, that's fine.
"We'll try later."
My mom is the kind of mother that says,
"Just 'cause you failed this time
"doesn't mean you're always gonna fail.
"Get up and do it again."
She's strong like that.
She has a very strong personality
and she expected a lot out of me because I was her child.
I wanted to give her a lot because I was her child.
She's very accomplished, very very accomplished
and I wanted to be like her.
- Very early on, they advocated for you.
Tell me about art class.
- When I was in the second grade,
the last period of every day was art class.
I remember I thought this was normal.
I sat in the hallway and the reason
I did so was because when they would be cutting paper,
I couldn't really use scissors to cut a straight line.
So I would have to stand in
the hallway until our class was over.
The moment that my mom found out about that,
she came to school to pick me up
and she said, "Why are you in the hallway?
"What did you do?"
She grabbed my hand.
She opened the door, she walked straight in.
She looked at my teacher and she goes,
"Who cares if my kid cannot cut
"a straight line with scissors?
"Unless she's gonna be a seamstress."
FYI, I am not a seamstress.
Then she said something that I've always
carried with me to this day.
She says, "She deserves art class."
They always told me, "Just because you may have
"a disability, just because you may have cerebral palsy,
"it doesn't stop you from doing anything,
"and it never should, and it's never going to."
My parents are very ...
They're very important to me.
They really instilled a sense of confidence in me.
I know for a fact that I would
not be where I am today if they
weren't the ones who picked me up.
(soft piano music)
- [Michael] Welcome to MI Healthy Mind.
- The show that dares to talk about mental health matters
that touch nearly every family.
Each week you'll meet guests who share their stories,
hear from local experts, and learn
about resources that may help.
- So I was in a committee meeting
at the House of Representatives
and I realized that my daughter had autism.
- We need to take the stigma away from mental health issues.
- No topics about mental health
and wellness are off limits on our show.
- Let's talk about it on MI Healthy Mind.
(rapid flapping)
- It's like a little voice that says,
"They're gonna hate your food," but it's all the time.
- I'm here for you, man.
If your food sucks, I'll tell you.
(soft piano music)
- So when it comes to somebody
who has been described as disabled,
people don't seem to understand that
that doesn't keep them from being
able to be very productive citizens.
There's almost 19 million people
in the United States that still work,
pay taxes, are productive, and contribute
to society, and in being utilized like that,
even though sometimes it means
that the employer has to give them
certain allowances, the result is that
they feel important, they can master
their own life, they can feel some independence.
It's important to realize that we need
to see them for what they can do
instead of seeing them for what we think they can't do.
- How did you become a public speaker and advocate?
How did you take this message to stages
to reach lots of people?
- It all started in college, freshman year of college.
Before I got to Adrian College, I was always very shy
and self conscious about my shaky hands.
I would always sit on my hands in class.
I would put them in between my
knees to stop them from shaking.
It's something that I started doing
in high school because I felt like
everybody behind me was staring at me shaking.
I didn't want people to see me
as anything different, so I would do that.
When I got to college, my parents were not with me anymore.
They were at home.
I had to be a grownup.
I had to be an adult.
I had to say enough is enough.
I can't sit by watching my life
flash before my eyes, go before my eyes,
without trying everything that I wanted to try.
So freshman year of college, my roommate
comes into my room and she's like,
"Marina, I'm trying out for the Adrian College talent show.
"Come with me."
So I said okay.
Danny, my roommate Danny, had a beautiful voice
like an angel and I wanted to support her.
After she was done, I was in the corner clapping.
I'm like, "Yeah, go girl.
"You got this, you got this, woo woo!"
The judges looked at her and they looked at me,
and they're like, "Who's your friend over there?"
She says, "Oh, that's my roommate,
"Marina, and she writes poetry."
Oh my god, I can't believe she just said that.
The judges stand up and they're like,
"Well, have you ever tried to try out for a talent show?"
I'm like, "No."
I don't like speaking, I don't like
being the center of attention.
But I said you know what?
I'm gonna do it.
So I got out my laptop and I read a couple of poems.
Two weeks later, I got the phone call saying,
"Congratulations, you just made
"it into the Adrian College talent show."
I'm like what have I gotten myself into?
Not good.
That day, I got on stage, ready to read my poems,
and I was really nervous because I knew all eyes were on me.
I was shaking like I used to do
and I thought my god, that's all people
are gonna see is my shaky hands.
What am I doing?
So I started to make jokes because I was nervous
and that's how I was calm, was if I made jokes.
Throughout my poetry reading, I made more and more jokes.
So at the end of the talent show,
the judges get up and they say,
"Third prize goes to Marina Morris
"for stand up comedy and poetry."
I'm like really?
I was excited.
During the show, the president of Adrian College,
Jeffery Docking was in the crowd, and he saw me.
The next year, he invited me to come
speak at the president's dinner.
I thought to myself why?
I don't like public speaking.
But then I knew.
I'm like okay, this is a start of something new.
I have to challenge myself.
I can't live in a corner.
I can't live being scared of who I am.
I have cerebral palsy, but that's nothing.
So I said yes, I'll do it.
I spoke about hope and I got a standing ovation from them.
Then I got asked to speak at the president's luncheon
and a couple other events on campus
to sports teams, to classes, to everybody.
When I graduated Adrian College,
my mom sent me an email saying,
"You should try out for TEDxMuskegon."
I thought to myself okay, maybe this is a time
where I really have to get out of my skin
and let people see me for who I am.
Marina Morris, 5'1" blonde girl who makes jokes.
Not Morina Morris, 5'1" with cerebral palsy
'cause that's not who I am.
(soft piano music)
(light guitar music)
- The Cerebral Palsy Foundation
knows that I have CP, so they asked me
if there are ways particularly that I like
that people start conversations with me.
There are a couple.
One is, "Hey, I've seen some of the games that you do.
"You do a great job."
Another is, "Wow, you're hot in person."
(light guitar music)
It's simple.
Just say, "Hi."
(light guitar music)
(soft piano music)
- Stories are so powerful.
People can relate to you.
You want that.
The day that I stood up on that stage freshman year
of college during the talent show
was the day that changed my entire life.
Sometimes you just gotta say yes
to opportunities that come your way.
Because in the back of my mind,
you may perceive people making fun of you.
You may think that people are looking at you differently.
But in reality, that's not the case.
It's not the case because you're not letting them.
You're letting them see Marina,
the advocate, the wife, the data analyst.
You're letting them see her.
You're not letting them see cerebral palsy.
Once you get to know me, you completely
forget that I have it in the first place.
That's so important.
Disability is not who you are, it's just a part of you.
- Now you're married, congratulations.
- Thank you so much.
My husband's wonderful.
- Well, tell us about your husband.
How you met and how you feel now,
how long you've been married.
- I met my husband in 2012 online.
I posted a picture of me in pigtails
and I captioned it saying, "I look like I'm 12."
He saw it and he commented back, he said,
"I have a baby face too."
Naturally in this day and age, I stalked him.
I looked at his pictures and I said, "Okay, he's kinda cute.
"Maybe I should start talking to him."
We started talking and then we Skyped because I wanted
to make sure that he was who he said he was.
Then we met on my 21st birthday at the bar.
I told him to come and meet me.
As soon as he walked through the door, I was done.
Our first date was at the zoo.
He grabbed my hand out of nowhere
and it just stopped shaking.
I'm like okay, this is real.
This is for real.
God.
It's really difficult to describe
how much I love my husband.
He is my hero.
He's my best friend.
He's my soulmate.
He's been there for me through
everything that life has to give.
Not once, not once did he ever see me
as a girl with cerebral palsy.
He just saw Marina.
I just fell in love with him immediately.
- [Elizabeth] So you are the complete whole package.
You are a rockstar. - Thank you.
Thank you.
(soft piano music)
(loud whooshing)
(glass breaking)
- You may not realize it, but these words
often used to describe someone
with a mental health condition can be very harmful.
In a country where one in five people are affected by
a mental health condition, it's time for all of us
to step up and change the conversation.
Just because someone's struggle
isn't obvious on the outside doesn't mean
they aren't hurting on the inside.
We need to see the person, not the condition.
Join with me.
Pledge to be stigma free.
- [Michael] Welcome to MI Healthy Mind.
- The show that dares to talk about mental health matters
that touch nearly every family.
Each week you'll meet guests who share their stories,
hear from local experts, and learn
about resources that may help.
- So I was in a committee meeting
at the House of Representatives
and I realized that my daughter had autism.
- We need to take the stigma away from mental health issues.
- No topics about mental health
and wellness are off limits on our show.
- Let's talk about it on MI Healthy Mind.
(soft piano music)
- So the question is how do you get to what lies beneath?
Well, first you have to look beyond
the surface, to the whole person.
It is important to learn about
the condition and any actual limitations
in order to figure out ways to work around them if possible.
We can all afford to be kind,
to make some allowances and accommodations.
We all need to set an example
to create an inclusive environment,
a positive can do culture.
We need to educate, and to advocate,
and to talk about what these
conditions are, and what's possible.
To talk to people with physical and mental
limitations with understanding,
with compassion, and without fear.
It's up to all of us to break the ice.
Most of all, do not permit or tolerate
any display of disrespect, period.
- Tell me what message do you have for people who
are watching you today and might have a disability.
- I want them to look in the mirror
and I want them to see themselves without that disability.
Everybody watching this show right now,
if you have a disability, any type of disability,
remember that it's not who you are.
It's just a part of who you are.
The moment you say to yourself,
"I'm more than that," I can't tell
you how much you're life is gonna change.
It's gonna change drastically and in a good way.
In a very good way.
(soft piano music)
- We hope you've enjoyed our show today.
I'd like to say what a privilege
it's been for all of us here at MI Healthy Mind
to meet this amazing young woman, Marina Morris,
with her upbeat personality and her inspiring story.
If you'd like to talk or read more
about Seeing Beyond Disability,
or any mental health issue, please reach out
to us on our website, mihealthymind.com,
through Twitter, @mihealthymind, or on Facebook.
Thank you for watching.
We'll see you next week for another
edition of MI Healthy Mind.
Let's talk about it.
Now we'll leave you with MI Healthy Minute.
MI Healthy Minute, covering breaking mental health news,
legislation, discoveries, and resources.
(soft music)
- The Chronic Illness Awareness Coalition
is a 30 year old nonprofit organization made up
of men and women from around the healthcare industry.
We're working together to improve
the quality of life for those affected
with both physical and mental health issues.
We do this through education and advocacy.
We educate the local community through seminars,
which we hold in talking about physical
and mental health issues that range from mild to severe.
We talk to healthcare professionals primarily through our
membership meetings that are six times a year.
We have a speaker come in and they'll talk
about things such as best practices,
or innovations in technology and healthcare.
This allows us to bring that information
back to our organizations and clinics
to have better patient interaction, better patient outcomes.
We do advocacy by talking to local legislators,
letting them know if we feel a law or a ruling is going
to negatively impact a person with a chronic illness.
We want people to know that over 45% of the population
is affected with some sort of a chronic illness.
The more severe that chronic illness,
the more difficult it is to find prescription medication,
a specialist, or someone that takes your health insurance.
So join us and help advocating for people
with chronic illnesses and disabilities.
(soft upbeat music)
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