Hey guys! Welcome back to Yaeko Smiles!
today, I have two friends as my guests
Cynthia from California and Hong Kong. International background.
Ami (yummy) from Japan
And I'm Yaeko. Yayyyy
today, we're gonna talk about
Cynthia: Except I'm not Japanese. haha
Today I found this article "9 facts about dating Japanese women" on the internet
They introduce 9 facts about dating Japanese girls
Now, we're gonna discuss whether or not these facts are true
and also I'm gonna ask Cynthia what she thinks about these facts.
yayyyy
Ami: No I don't. But I sometimes say what I really think.
Yaeko: Yea. Sometimes.
Cynthia: Usually you guys are
pretty reserved
But
Ummm you know
We want guys to understand or feel what we really mean.
But we won't directly say what we really mean.
We want you to get the message from us without actually saying it.
Yaeko: What about Western girls? Ami: How about Chinese? (American)
Cynthia: Chinese? Ami: California
California Girls!
So just from my personal stance, I'm much more forward.
like, I don't really like to play games, like mind games.
So I just way what's on my mind or what I feel.
Cynthia: I've never met anybody in a bar.
Ami: Me neither.
I feel like that applies to any country
even like here Vancouver.
Cynthia: I think ya it is true. Ami & Yaeko: Not healthy.
I mean it's not impossible. It's just says it's difficult.
Oh yeah. It is difficult.
It's difficult.
haha
So, when you say "no thanks"
or when you are being reserved
that just means like you're just shy Yaeko: just shy.
Cynthia: Right?
Yaeko: Just like
Yaeko: like umm.. I don't really mean "no thanks" but I'll be hesitant because if I say "I wanna go/do, the guy might think that I'm interested in him.
Do you agree?
Cynthia: like for me when I say "no thanks"
I really mean "no thanks".
I'm just like "I'm not interested in you.
like don't go wasting like our time
like your money, and all that
hahahaha
Wait so,
If you actually really said "no thanks"
would you actually...
Yaeko: We don't say "no thanks" directly.
we just say "oh...
if guys ask me like "oh do you wanna hang out with me?"
if I don't wanna hang out with him,
I just say "oh I'm sorry. This week I'm so busy. I can't."
Ami: Yea.
Cynthia: But you actually want to???
Yaeko: No!! I don't want to (hang out) but I don't wanna say "no". Because like...
Cynthia: You wanna be polite.
No but I'm saying the case of like
you actually like the guy,
and the guy actually asks you out on a date,
but you're like kinda shy.
So, you're like "Oh no thanks".
but do you actually want him to like
I don't really know!
Yaeko: If I like the guy, and he asks me out on a date, I won't say "no thanks". (I will say "yes".)
But maybe I won't text him and call him.
Ami: Please understand (guys)!!!!!
Yaeko: Yeah, I want you to know that I want to call/text you, but I don't wanna be the one calling you.
Cynthia: I do think people do date (South Asian Men)
like just for the person, who they are.
Yaeko: Especially university students.
I mean exchange students (studying in Japan) from other countries and a local student, or vice versa.
Ami: Hmm... South Asia guys
So, specifically
a foreigner (non-Japanese)
or a specific race
It's kinda like Yellow Fever but the exact opposite.
yea but in this case it's like the opposite
So like Asians (Japanese Women) only dating foreigners (non-Japanese guys), yeah like white guys.
Yes. I think that's kinda true in general.
Yaeko: But like I think.. Is it true though?
I feel like this can't just be
for a Japanese girl in general.
like because it's exactly same for guys.
like why are you showing me excessive interest?
like do you want something more form me?
like do you
is he feeling like entitled or something?
Yaeko: Yeah, entitled.
Cynthia: I don't know.
I think this is kind of a strange point to bring up.
Cynthia: So, like you just go along with anything.
you don't really have your opinion.
you don't say it.
or like you don't make decisions.
just kind of go with the flow.
you agree to things.
Ami: I think I'm this kind of girl.
Yaeko: Yeah, you seem like this kind of girl.
Ami: I don't state my opinions much after I start dating somebody.
Yaeko: But I guess
we want our boyfriends to lead us.
I think we are afraid of our boyfriends thinking that we are selfish if we state our opinions too much.
Cynthia: You think you might be selfish or self-centered
Yaeko: I think this
might be one of the reasons why Japanese girls are popular.
because we are like "I will follow you".
Cynthia: I think
It's a bad way of saying (the article)
that Japanese women, maybe just...
or East Asian women are obedient.
Yaeko: Ya ya ya ya
Cynthia: Like they won't to say "no" to you
Ami: In the past, I leaned about stereotypes of Japanese women that American people have. They have the stereotype that Japanese women are obedient.
Cynthia: Yeah. They won't say anything back to you.
Yaeko: We are perceived as women who would be like "I'm gonna follow you and obey you".
Cynthia: So, in this case, the green card is like American citizenship?
Yaeko: Yeah. It's like permanent residence.
Yaeko: Is it true????
Ami: I don't know.
Yaeko: Do I want Green Card? I don't really care haha
Ami: Me neither.
Cynthia: Yes It is totally possible.
Yaeko: Umm but I've heard many people say that inter-racial married couples get divorced easily.
Divorce rate is higher.
Cynthia: Eh?
Yaeko: Yeah. Inter-racial marriages between Japanese and non-Japanese. Ami: I didn't know that.
I think it's because of the difference in language, culture, etc...
But I think it is possible.
Yea. i mean, it is not impossible.
Cynthia: Yeah. It is possible, but there is like just
there are more problems.
Yaeko: we need effort.
Cynthia: need more effort.
It's very difficult BUT it is possible.
Yaeko: I believe it's possible!
we have to manage a good balance of give-and-take, we have to recognize what one should accept and say their opinion.
Do you know "Rachel and Jun" ? YouTubers.
Cynthia: I watch them quite often
Yaeko: Yeah they look so cute
Cynthia: They are really cute, and they seem to do pretty well. But i think also because Rachel and Jun both know English and Japanese.
Yaeko: Oh Yeah. That's an important thing.
Cynthia: Yeah. But it is definitely possible.
Just takes more effort. A lot of more effort
And a lot of more patience.
Yaeko: Especially for Japanese girls. They don't know what they want.
Sorry!
Cynthia: Is this because like you don't...
Yaeko: We don't normally ..
Cynthia: Like you don't ask yourself? You don't reflect? And you don't think about it?
or is it?
Yaeko: No, no just like we don't have the culture of saying directly like "I want this".
We are just like polite. We just wanna be polite.
I think people don't say what they want because if they do, people might think they are not polite and selfish.
anyway!
I want you guys who are interested in Japanese women to know
Japanese women are a little bit difficult to deal with.
But it's possible to date with Japanese girls.
It just like need more effort
need to give more attention,
need to be more patient,
need to give them love <3
... and ....
EFFORT
Cynthia: Would one of your tips be to ask them directly????
Yaeko: Ummm...Yeah
Cynthia: So yeah
just continue to be direct
try your best
to just understand that their culture in general
kinda teach us be more reserved
and not really speak their minds
So, I just need to have to dig a little deeper
try harder
Ami: It is important to be honest with your feelings.
Okay guys!
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