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Hey guys! Welcome back to Yaeko Smiles!

today, I have two friends as my guests

Cynthia from California and Hong Kong. International background.

Ami (yummy) from Japan

And I'm Yaeko. Yayyyy

today, we're gonna talk about

Cynthia: Except I'm not Japanese. haha

Today I found this article "9 facts about dating Japanese women" on the internet

They introduce 9 facts about dating Japanese girls

Now, we're gonna discuss whether or not these facts are true

and also I'm gonna ask Cynthia what she thinks about these facts.

yayyyy

Ami: No I don't. But I sometimes say what I really think.

Yaeko: Yea. Sometimes.

Cynthia: Usually you guys are

pretty reserved

But

Ummm you know

We want guys to understand or feel what we really mean.

But we won't directly say what we really mean.

We want you to get the message from us without actually saying it.

Yaeko: What about Western girls? Ami: How about Chinese? (American)

Cynthia: Chinese? Ami: California

California Girls!

So just from my personal stance, I'm much more forward.

like, I don't really like to play games, like mind games.

So I just way what's on my mind or what I feel.

Cynthia: I've never met anybody in a bar.

Ami: Me neither.

I feel like that applies to any country

even like here Vancouver.

Cynthia: I think ya it is true. Ami & Yaeko: Not healthy.

I mean it's not impossible. It's just says it's difficult.

Oh yeah. It is difficult.

It's difficult.

haha

So, when you say "no thanks"

or when you are being reserved

that just means like you're just shy Yaeko: just shy.

Cynthia: Right?

Yaeko: Just like

Yaeko: like umm.. I don't really mean "no thanks" but I'll be hesitant because if I say "I wanna go/do, the guy might think that I'm interested in him.

Do you agree?

Cynthia: like for me when I say "no thanks"

I really mean "no thanks".

I'm just like "I'm not interested in you.

like don't go wasting like our time

like your money, and all that

hahahaha

Wait so,

If you actually really said "no thanks"

would you actually...

Yaeko: We don't say "no thanks" directly.

we just say "oh...

if guys ask me like "oh do you wanna hang out with me?"

if I don't wanna hang out with him,

I just say "oh I'm sorry. This week I'm so busy. I can't."

Ami: Yea.

Cynthia: But you actually want to???

Yaeko: No!! I don't want to (hang out) but I don't wanna say "no". Because like...

Cynthia: You wanna be polite.

No but I'm saying the case of like

you actually like the guy,

and the guy actually asks you out on a date,

but you're like kinda shy.

So, you're like "Oh no thanks".

but do you actually want him to like

I don't really know!

Yaeko: If I like the guy, and he asks me out on a date, I won't say "no thanks". (I will say "yes".)

But maybe I won't text him and call him.

Ami: Please understand (guys)!!!!!

Yaeko: Yeah, I want you to know that I want to call/text you, but I don't wanna be the one calling you.

Cynthia: I do think people do date (South Asian Men)

like just for the person, who they are.

Yaeko: Especially university students.

I mean exchange students (studying in Japan) from other countries and a local student, or vice versa.

Ami: Hmm... South Asia guys

So, specifically

a foreigner (non-Japanese)

or a specific race

It's kinda like Yellow Fever but the exact opposite.

yea but in this case it's like the opposite

So like Asians (Japanese Women) only dating foreigners (non-Japanese guys), yeah like white guys.

Yes. I think that's kinda true in general.

Yaeko: But like I think.. Is it true though?

I feel like this can't just be

for a Japanese girl in general.

like because it's exactly same for guys.

like why are you showing me excessive interest?

like do you want something more form me?

like do you

is he feeling like entitled or something?

Yaeko: Yeah, entitled.

Cynthia: I don't know.

I think this is kind of a strange point to bring up.

Cynthia: So, like you just go along with anything.

you don't really have your opinion.

you don't say it.

or like you don't make decisions.

just kind of go with the flow.

you agree to things.

Ami: I think I'm this kind of girl.

Yaeko: Yeah, you seem like this kind of girl.

Ami: I don't state my opinions much after I start dating somebody.

Yaeko: But I guess

we want our boyfriends to lead us.

I think we are afraid of our boyfriends thinking that we are selfish if we state our opinions too much.

Cynthia: You think you might be selfish or self-centered

Yaeko: I think this

might be one of the reasons why Japanese girls are popular.

because we are like "I will follow you".

Cynthia: I think

It's a bad way of saying (the article)

that Japanese women, maybe just...

or East Asian women are obedient.

Yaeko: Ya ya ya ya

Cynthia: Like they won't to say "no" to you

Ami: In the past, I leaned about stereotypes of Japanese women that American people have. They have the stereotype that Japanese women are obedient.

Cynthia: Yeah. They won't say anything back to you.

Yaeko: We are perceived as women who would be like "I'm gonna follow you and obey you".

Cynthia: So, in this case, the green card is like American citizenship?

Yaeko: Yeah. It's like permanent residence.

Yaeko: Is it true????

Ami: I don't know.

Yaeko: Do I want Green Card? I don't really care haha

Ami: Me neither.

Cynthia: Yes It is totally possible.

Yaeko: Umm but I've heard many people say that inter-racial married couples get divorced easily.

Divorce rate is higher.

Cynthia: Eh?

Yaeko: Yeah. Inter-racial marriages between Japanese and non-Japanese. Ami: I didn't know that.

I think it's because of the difference in language, culture, etc...

But I think it is possible.

Yea. i mean, it is not impossible.

Cynthia: Yeah. It is possible, but there is like just

there are more problems.

Yaeko: we need effort.

Cynthia: need more effort.

It's very difficult BUT it is possible.

Yaeko: I believe it's possible!

we have to manage a good balance of give-and-take, we have to recognize what one should accept and say their opinion.

Do you know "Rachel and Jun" ? YouTubers.

Cynthia: I watch them quite often

Yaeko: Yeah they look so cute

Cynthia: They are really cute, and they seem to do pretty well. But i think also because Rachel and Jun both know English and Japanese.

Yaeko: Oh Yeah. That's an important thing.

Cynthia: Yeah. But it is definitely possible.

Just takes more effort. A lot of more effort

And a lot of more patience.

Yaeko: Especially for Japanese girls. They don't know what they want.

Sorry!

Cynthia: Is this because like you don't...

Yaeko: We don't normally ..

Cynthia: Like you don't ask yourself? You don't reflect? And you don't think about it?

or is it?

Yaeko: No, no just like we don't have the culture of saying directly like "I want this".

We are just like polite. We just wanna be polite.

I think people don't say what they want because if they do, people might think they are not polite and selfish.

anyway!

I want you guys who are interested in Japanese women to know

Japanese women are a little bit difficult to deal with.

But it's possible to date with Japanese girls.

It just like need more effort

need to give more attention,

need to be more patient,

need to give them love <3

... and ....

EFFORT

Cynthia: Would one of your tips be to ask them directly????

Yaeko: Ummm...Yeah

Cynthia: So yeah

just continue to be direct

try your best

to just understand that their culture in general

kinda teach us be more reserved

and not really speak their minds

So, I just need to have to dig a little deeper

try harder

Ami: It is important to be honest with your feelings.

Okay guys!

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