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what's up everybody this is Chris from the rewired soul where we talk about the

problem but focus on the solution and I'm doing another story time video so

I've been debating on this so story time videos are kind of like a thing on

YouTube in the addiction recovery world we call these war stories and nobody

wants to hear I'm like I'm a drug addict most of you know I've done some

messed-up stuff I've integrated them a little into other videos but here's my

thoughts behind this I want to start doing more of these to kind of show you

the the difference between where I used to be and where I'm at now if I can

somehow convey to you how mentally unhealthy I used to be then maybe you'll

start listening to me a little bit more because you're recognizing how mentally

healthy I am now so if you could compare and contrast those two things you might

be like if a guy who is as screwed up as that and get better maybe I can too so

this video is about my war with the local Las Vegas weather man and this is

a story about how insane I used to be and this is not even drug or alcohol

related this goes back to my anger issues a lot of my mental health issues

stemmed from anger so I have a lot of these stories of the insane shit that I

used to do so please follow along and please watch the whole video like I know

this is gonna be funny this is everybody's favorite story for some

reason probably because I'm a lunatic but by the end of this story I'm going

to keep of my theme where I talk about the solution so bear with me

alright so let me sit let me set the stage for you real quick all right so

this is back when my son was a baby he was just first born it was within the

first year probably the sixth first six months I had a job lost it was in 2009

when the economy was crashing the dealership I was working at had massive

layoffs and it eventually shut down so I was a stay-at-home dad and something

that I did as a stay-at-home dad while my son's mom

how working was I would sit and watch the news like all day long just all day

long I'll watch morning afternoon night news and I started to hate the

weatherman I hated the weatherman so much so here in Las Vegas pretty typical

it's hot it's hot in the summer right but we also get like flash floods and

not a lot of not a lot of people know this but we do get flash floods my high

my high school apartment actually got flooded I lost like pretty much

everything that I had owned up until high school all gone I'm a flood all

right so watching the weatherman I used to get so mad I used to get just so

angry because I would watch the forecast either the night before or that morning

and they'd be like all right we got sunny skies today and then that

afternoon it is just pouring rain or they say you know it's gonna be 90

degrees today and then it's like 110 now we sit there and I watch the morning

forecast and it would be completely wrong and then in the afternoon the the

weatherman would just hop on and then he would just be like whoa looks like it's

raining outside so make sure you wear your jackets and I'm like this

motherfucker isn't even gonna apologize he's not even gonna say sorry to his

audience he's just gonna act like he didn't poorly predict the weather this

morning and that kind of stuff infuriated me I I hated the fact that

this guy especially does I hate you the world I hated the fact that this guy was

getting paid a ton of money to basically just be wrong like I was like what good

are you what what good is a weatherman if you can't even accurately predict the

forecast especially with all these machines and they talked about this

Doppler thing they have and I was like why do you why do they even pay you and

you're just so unapologetic so the wasn't man in particular was this guy

named Darren Pak here in Las Vegas if any of your local Las Vegas you might

remember Darren Peck and I'm hoping what I did didn't run him out of Las Vegas

but anyways one of the things that make me so mad was whenever they would

introduce Darren Peck they'd like and this is Darren Peck he is a member of

the National meteorologist Society so like Darren Peck was put on this

pedestal of being like though weather dude in Las Vegas right member of the

National meteorologist Society right so when he was wrong I'm like what

good is this national meteorologist society if du can't even predict the

weather and then at the end of the segments they would be like you know for

all the news team members here right hey here's our emails if you ever want

to reach out and talk to us da so Darren Peck had his email address on there and

all this rage was building up in me for so long that I finally decided to send

Darren Peck a very angry email and this was back in 2009 and my girlfriend she

thinks it's a hilarious story my clients always think it's a hilarious story and

today I was like wonderful is still in my sent emails and I looked it up and it

is so what I'm gonna do now is we're gonna read it together and as I read it

I'm going to point out my my insanity and we're gonna talk a little bit about

it and you'll see it pop up on the screen

here so get ready and follow along so let's take a look at this hi Darren I'm

a long time watcher first time writer first off I would like to say that

you're one of the better weather people in Las Vegas now I would just like to

ask if you can give me some insight as to why weather people never bring up the

fact that they are they or their dopler were wrong last night on the news 6:23

so I I dated it and here's what's interesting about this 6:23 was actually

my birthday like why was I so angry on my birthday

so anyways last night on the news 6:23 the forecast was a clear day with clouds

coming in late the following night from Arizona that may or may not hit Vegas

next thing you know is pouring in certain areas of town in the middle of

the afternoon today 624 and the forecast is now that tonight it is going to be

clear skies after this last bit of moisture passes through the Southwest

part of town but see I paid attention to that that weather okay so here's where

it gets ridiculous alright so I just want to know I just want to know what

kind of what kind of school you all go to in order to become a weather person

it really seems like you all just play again

see game on a day-to-day basis and just kind of sit there and don't really care

if you're right or wrong like how am I so mad

do I care if you're right or wrong not always but sometimes when I am worried

about whether my child and his mother are going to get surprised by the sudden

showers when the forecast was clear skies so here's something that angry

people do all the time we manipulate the situation and we give these extremes

like we try to justify ur anger so what I was doing here is a manipulation for

to justify my anger I'm trying to use the excuse of my son and his mom and

this is why I'm angry I that really wasn't it that really wasn't it I know

what I was thinking back then I was just upset that this guy was wrong and was

completely unapologetic about it so ask yourself if you do this when you're

angry all right pull in other people to make

your story a little bit more extreme anyways it says other than that I want

to know how much you guys get paid to play this guessing game on a day to day

basis and whether or not you get some sort of bonus from the station from the

station on the off chance you actually get the forecast correct

sorry about my rant Darren love you love what you do but for some reason I have

never really respected weather people because it is very rare that I see they

are correct your fan Chris bootay like your fan Chris puto and like does

this weather guy and that's the thing to so many of us are so selfish and

self-centred like we actually think these people care like the reality is

Dylan Pett probably never even read this email or if he did he probably just

brushed it off right well like does this guy really care

about the respect he gets from one of his viewers most likely not but it gets

better I had it a PS PS why do all the weather people in Vegas get happy when

it's going to be over a hundred degrees in town only two things come from that

people being miserable and morons leaving their

kids in cars unattended you should all look very sad when the temperature is

going to be that high the only really good thing that comes from it is that

money tree makes donations I just I had to throw that in there but yeah that's

like a thing like whether people in lots of it you said get all like cheery like

hey it's gonna be a hundred and ten degrees today I'd like to me like that's

not a fun time but you know a lot of people do enjoy that heat a lot of

people go swimming and that's their time I'm not a summer person as a fat guy who

sweats a lot I am NOT a summer person but that money

tree thing we had a local check cashing place here in town that they would

donate the money for what temperature was so it was 110 degrees outside they

donated a hundred ten dollars so that's what it was anyways alright so that was

my rant towards their impact and and yeah on the off chance that Darren you

somehow stumble across this video this is my formal apology to you for being a

psychopath alright anyways like I mentioned at the beginning of this video

there is a moral to this story am i that's the thing so where I'm at today

these things don't bug me that much right like I for my own mental health

I really have to prioritize what I'm going to get upset about and one of the

things that does not deserve the time of day to rent space in my head is the

weather or the weather man okay the weather is something that is completely

out of my control and that's some of the craziness that I was in like like not

always out of my control but I'm getting angry at a guy for predicting weather

and be someone who's like really into science I know the science isn't perfect

and it's just like this kind of roundabout gas you know but for some

reason my back man he just infuriated me and some of you might get mad too

because the whole reason why I was mad was because he didn't apologize and I

don't think that's right like I am some kind of dictator of what morality is and

and what people should do and when they should apologize like keep in mind this

is back in 2009 when I'm unemployed have a son who's less than a year old and I'm

a freakin drug addict an alcoholic yeah sitting here preaching to somebody from

some kind of moral hilltop telling them how they should act right so today I do

not let these things bug me now when it comes to the weather in particular this

is where mindfulness comes in I literally don't check the weather I just

I just don't I go out I'm like it's a cold I open my door I check I look

outside are there clouds like that's that's just what I do now mindfulness

helps me realize what's out of my control and just taking it a moment at a

time a day at a time the only time I really like look at forecast is if I'm

traveling and even still you know I don't travel around the world or I'm not

going to the East Coast where it's snowing right now or anything like that

but you know some of you have heard like the news makes you miserable and like I

have to be mindful of the things that upset me for really dumb reasons and I

don't get involved in the minute anymore like what I don't pay attention to um

like I don't have a reason to get angry this doesn't mean that I don't stay in

touch stay up to date with the news some of you have seen my other videos where I

talk about news stories but there's certain things that I just I just don't

let rent space in my head and that's to keep my sanity and my serenity this

happiness the smile you see on my face right now

I don't get involved with things that irritate me on a regular basis right but

on the other hand - is meditation mindfulness my medications also keep me

a lot more stable and balanced things don't irritate me the way they they used

to like think about it just what a weather guy an angry email right like

today like I look at things and I'm able to show empathy I'm able to show

compassion I'm able to you know just put myself in that person's shoes and be

like wow does this person really deserve to be attacked right now you know what I

mean so anyways hope you enjoyed my insane story about the weatherman real

quick side note the last time I told this story I was at my mom's treatment

center in California and I was going over anger with her clients I was doing

their group forum and as I was telling this story and everybody's laughing they

were laughing a lot harder than the the usual laps that I get and one of the

clients in that room was the local weatherman so that was a really awkward

moment so I was able to make an apology to him

on the off chance that Darren PAC that receives this video but anyways like I

said I wanted to do this video I really want you guys to see how far I've come

with my mental health so you start to look at the different tools that are

providing you with that I actually use and apply in my own life so you could

see the difference between the crazy angry person I used to be and the happy

peaceful person that I am now so if you like this video please give it a thumbs

up and if you're new here click the little round subscribe button my videos

are all about helping you with your mental health so make sure you subscribe

also if you'd like to check out some other videos on this channel click the

tap on one of those thumbnails right there thanks so much for watching

listening to my crazy story I'll see you all next time

For more infomation >> Why do I Hate People Like the Weatherman? (ANGER STORYTIME) - Duration: 13:54.

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Why do half of women have fantasies about being r.a.p.e.d? - Duration: 14:42.

Why do half of women have fantasies about being r.a.p.e.d?

Theres a wide range of sexual fantasies people have, ranging from entirely unrealistic to applicable to real life, sex with Superman through to banging on a plane.

But the fantasy of being raped, also known as nonconsent and forced sex fantasies, is common. Sexual fantasies let you explore your sexuality, theyre what we use to get off in those harsh, cold wifi-free winters, and we get to use them in roleplay scenarios to make our sex lives even more fulfilling.

But this common fantasy is one that few of us feel comfortable sharing. It puts people on edge and makes us feel a bit wrong. Recent research indicates that between 31% and 57% of women have fantasies in which they are forced into sex against their will. For 9% to 17% of those women, rape fantasies are their favourite or most frequent sexual fantasy.

Its natural if that makes you feel alarmed. In real-life contexts, rape – meaning sex against your will – is deeply traumatising. Its not at all sexy. Its an intense violation that causes high levels of distress.

Content warning: Those who find discussions of rape and sexual assault may find this article triggering. It seems strange that wed use rape as the basis for our sexual fantasies – and yet so many of us do.

And its incredibly important to note that while rape fantasies are common, this does not mean that women secretly want to be raped. There is a huge difference between acted out role-play, imagined scenarios, and real-life experiences. No one asks to be raped, no one deserves to be raped, and how common forced sex fantasies are in no way justifies unwanted sexual contact of any nature.

Its difficult to know exactly what these fantasies entail, because, well, theyre going on in someone elses mind. But the women we spoke to mentioned that their fantasies of forced sex steered away from experiences that would be close to reality.

Rather than lines of consent being crossed by friends or bosses, we fantasise about high drama situations in which we are forced to have sex to survive, entering into sexual contracts rather than having our right to consent taken away from us outright. Amy*, 26, says a common fantasy is being kidnapped and held hostage, then having one of the guards forcing her into sex to keep her safe.

Tasha, 24, fantasises about thieves breaking into her house and being so attracted to her they have to have sex with her against her will. In both scenarios, the women said they start out by resisting advances, then begin to enjoy the sex midway through. Its giving up the fight and giving in to desire thats the turn on, rather than the very real trauma of real-life rape.

But for other women, fantasies are more true to life. For some its not about feigned struggle, but imagining consent and control being ripped away as a major turn on.Why is this? Why are so many of us aroused by forced sex when wed be horrified by the reality of it? Why do we find the idea of rejecting sex then doing it anyway a turn on?

Dr Michael Yates, clinical psychologist at the Havelock Clinic, explains that there are a few theories. The first is that womens fantasies of nonconsensual sex are down to lingering guilt and shame around female sexuality. For centuries (and sadly still all too regularly today), young women are taught to hide sexual feelings or encouraged to fit narrow gender stereotypes of the acceptable ways that female sexuality can be expressed in society, Michael tells Metro.co.uk. As a result sex and sexual feelings are often accompanied by anxiety, guilt or shame.

One theory is that rape fantasies allow women to reduce distress associated with sex, as they are not responsible for what occurs, therefore have less need to feel guilt or shame about acting upon their own sexual desires or feelings.

Essentially, lingering feelings of shame around taking agency over our own sexual desires can make us want to transfer them on to another body, thus giving us permission to fantasise about sexual acts. In our minds, its not us doing it, its all the other person, meaning we dont have to feel guilty or dirty.

This explains why most rape fantasies dont tend to be extremely violent, and why the women I asked reported resisting at first before having an enjoyable experience (which real-life rape is definitely not).

More often than not, most people who have rape fantasies imagine a passionate scene with very little force, based around the "victim" being so desirable that the rapist cannot control themselves, while the victim generally does not feel the terror, confusion, rage and disgust of an actual rape, says Michael.

The second theory is down to the dominant narratives shown in media and porn. Its suggested that because our media and porn so often show men being dominant and losing control around a meek, deeply attractive woman, thats simply how we envision ideal sex in our fantasies.

Take a flip through classic erotic literature, or even just look at the covers, and youll be confronted by strong men grabbing weak, swooning women.

Although rarely do these novels portray rape or sexual assault explicitly, they do play into the idea of a female sexual role as succumbing to the dominant role of male sexuality, notes Michael. One whereby men can act upon their sexual urges at the point they choose (with the female having little power to object).

So that might be the why – but what about the who? Does having fantasies about being raped mean anything about us? Are certain types of women more likely to have fantasies of being raped?

As with most sexual fantasies, its really not something to panic about. Just as having fantasies about being a princess rescued from a castle doesnt mean youre desperate to quit your job and become a royal, fantasising about nonconsent does not in any way mean that you want to be raped in real life.

Lets repeat that: Women who have fantasies of rape do not want to experience real-life rape. Fantasies are not permission to do such a thing, and what people find erotic in their minds can be deeply distressing when played out in reality. Having fantasies about being raped also doesnt mean youre pro-rape or a terrible feminist. It doesnt mean anything about who you are, actually, and as long as youre enjoying those fantasies in your mind, theres no cause for concern.

There is no evidence that fantasising about forced-sex (or any other type of sex) says anything about our personalities, mental health or wider sexual preferences, Michael says.Those that fantasise about rape are no more likely to want to act upon this fantasy than anyone else [4], nor are they more likely to become a victim of rape or sexual assault.

One recent study has shown that the women who reported the most rape fantasies were also the most sexually open and self-accepting. These women also had the most consensual sex fantasies. Forced-sex fantasy may in fact be a product of a more open and exploratory approach to sexual ideas more generally, and reflect a willingness to tolerate a whole range of sexual desires as part of a varied sexual life.

Youre also no more likely to experience rape fantasies if you have been a victim of sexual assault or rape – fantasies can come up for anyone, at any time in their lives – and its crucial to note that experiencing fantasies of rape does not mean that their real-life experience was in any way less traumatic.

A rape fantasy can be accompanied by feelings of shame, confusion and guilt, Michael notes. For some it can lead to a belief that they either wanted the abuse to happen or that they enjoyed it in some way. This is never true, and in no way makes the trauma of what happened less valid.

Even if these fantasies happen before or after a sexual assault, they bear no relationship to the act of sexual violence, and in no way take away the reality and the validity of the crime that was committed. Its important to understand your own feelings around fantasies of forced sex. If youre enjoying them and are free of any guilt or discomfort, you dont need to worry – fantasies of being raped are, as we mentioned, entirely normal and very common.

But if these thought feel intrusive, out of control, or distressing, theyre no longer fun sexual fantasies – theyre an issue which needs resolving. For women whove experienced sexual assault, what start out as sexual fantasies can morph into overwhelming, obsessive, and intrusive thoughts, taking place not by choice but when triggered.

For some it can lead to feelings or dissociation and difficulties with intimacy with partners, says Michael. This could be a sign that these fantasies are triggering a trauma response that is not in your control. This means these experiences cease to be fantasies which we can enjoy and manage, and instead become part of a wider post-traumatic stress response.

If you are experiencing this in any way, it is important that you seek advice and support from a trained psychologist or mental health professional. If youve established that your fantasies are just that – sexual fantasies well within your control, that you find arousing, not distressing – you should feel free to enjoy them.

While most of us will be happy to keep them to ourselves, others may want to explore forced sex in a consensual setting. Thats where the boundaries between real-life rape and fantasies of forced sex can become a little blurred, so its absolutely crucial to be clear about personal comfort areas, enjoyment, and consent.

For those who chose to incorporate these fantasies into sex with a partner(s), the setting of clear boundaries and ground rules is crucial, advises Michael. Before you talk with others about a forced-sex fantasy, it is important that you consider what you will be willing to participate in and how you would like this to be played out in the sexual experience.

Consider what you want to other person to do and the acceptable limits of their behaviour also. Think about how you can give your consent to any rule changes if they do occur as the sexual experience develops, and everyone needs to know what explicit consent will look and sound like.

It is vital that everyone involved is clear about when to stop, and that you can all communicate clearly if you want the experience to end prematurely. Essentially that means an in-depth discussion beforehand about what youre up for and whats off limits, whether thats anal sex, forced oral, or excessive force.

Create a safe word that means that whatevers happening, you stop immediately. The minute youre experiencing any distress, dissociation, or anxiety, you need to stop right away. Be mindful that if youre engaging in nonconsent play, there could be some confusion over safe words.

What would normally be a sign to stop may be read as part of the fantasy, so its essential to determine which words are part of the fantasy and which one means your partner must stop what theyre doing. If you cant trust someone to take your safe word seriously, dont have sex with them.

And if you find that your fantasy has brought up trauma when played out in real-life, talk to a trained mental health professional to work through things and ensure you can get comfortable with sex again. Its fine for fantasies to be things you keep to yourself and only enjoy in a solo setting where youre entirely in control. Its entirely normal to find something arousing when its played out in your mind but upsetting in real life.

Dont panic, dont judge, and treat your mind as a safe space to explore your sexuality in whatever way you fancy.