Weddings are by nature an expensive ordeal.
If you are sponsoring a party for all your family and friends
well
that's going to cost you some money.
There's going to be the cost of a space,
and the cost of food
for the 50-100 odd people you invite to your wedding.
so yeah
by that definition you are likely
to incur an expense,
an expense that is considerably higher
than your average everyday expense.
But this is not the wedding
I'm going to talk about today.
The wedding that I am going to talk about,
and which is more common nowadays
is this kind of wedding.
The wedding of excess!
The wedding which begins with a
lavish invitation,
and a luxury box of exotic sweets.
An engagement party in the finest hotel in town.
An all-night bachelor's party
at a high-class pub in the city,
with unlimited booze and food.
Then a music ceremony,
posh place,
lots of people, lots of food,
lots of decoration.
A high-production bollywood style movie,
with the bride and groom as the stars,
shown to all the guests.
Professional entertainers,
magicians,
samba dancers,
acrobats
A full-night marriage ceremony.
A high-class venue for the wedding.
Maybe an exotic destination.
A beach
The hills.
An island?
Lots of food.
Lots of different kinds of food.
Indian cuisine
mexican cuisine
thai cusine
malay cuisine
vietnamese cuisine
indonesian cuisine
burmese cuisine
chinese cuisine
afghani cuisine
french cuisine
italian cuisine
Professional videographer
with professional cameras,
gyroscopes for stabilization,
drones for air-coverage,
professionally-edited videos,
Designer clothes,
designer bridal wear,
designer shoes,
designer head gear,
jewellery,
more jewellery,
lots of jewellery,
expensive decoration,
exotic flower,
exotic sweet smelling flower from South Africa
A band,
a horse,
a couple of horses more,
a chariot,
maybe a nice car, especially rented for the day.
Guests.
Lots of Guests.
500 guests.
No, a thousand.
No 2000 guests.
You have never met 1/4 of them ever in your life.
1/2 of them are mild acquaintances,
you wouldn't spend a dime on, on a regular day.
Only a handful of the 2000 guests actually mean something to you.
Only a handful of the 2000 guests, you care about,
and they care about you.
Typically a wedding like this costs somewhere between
THAT'S a lot of money.
Maybe a large fraction of the family's fortune.
In some cases it can be the entire lifetime
savings of the family.
In some cases people also take
personal loans to meet the expenses incurred in weddings.
So I guess the point is,
The answer is simple,
and we all know it.
I'm not saying anything new here.
It's a once in a lifetime opportunity
to show off your opulence to the entire society.
I found this quote online,
by a lady who works as a house maid.
But does everyone enjoy spending
their hard-earned money in weddings?
A lot of people do it out of peer pressure.
Because they are scared.
Fear is a devastating emotion.
But what are they afraid of?
What will people say if I throw a cheap-ass wedding?
It's hard! It's just so fucking hard
to not spend a fortune on weddings.
Can you imagine how painful it is
to not spend a fortune on weddings.
What I just said is so strange and so non-sensical.
Can you imagine how painful it is
to not spend a fortune on weddings.
This is such a powerful statement.
We have built this institution,
this system,
where our minds are forcing us to spend
our fortunes recklessly on one night.
Just blow away all our hard-earned money on meaningless stuff.
Just imagine what all we could have done with that money?
Buy a nice house,
spend the rest of our lives in that house.
Keep that money in the bank, in case an emergency strikes.
Go for a wonderful trip all around the world.
Quit your jobs and pursue that one hobby
you've always wanted to pursue.
So why do we feel compelled to spend our money on other people.
Feeding them all these different kinds of cuisines?
On a regular day
we wouldn't even spend a dime on them.
Because if I don't spend.
What will people think of me,
what will everyone think of me.
But if I spend. I'll be a king.
And people will think all nice things about me.
Wouldn't that be glorious?
But damn. I don't want to spend so much. It's just insane.
But what will people think about me
if I give a cheap ass wedding?
My daughter's wedding should be the best wedding in town.
So that everybody remembers me and everybody respects me.
Doesn't matter if I have to take a personal loan for it.
It's hard, man.
I think it has been very deeply ingrained
in our minds to spend excessively on weddings.
So deeply ingrained that
we think it's completely normal to do what we do.
like throwing trash on streets
In fact it just seems absurd
to not spend like a madman in a wedding.
It's like breaking some kind of
fundamental law of the society.
For example, if I tell you,
I want to quit my high-paying corporate job,
and do nothing for the rest of my life.
Just sit at home and read books.
Do a part-time job maybe.
Deliver pizzas maybe.
I don't want to work anymore.
Just live my life, relax,
do nothing, read books, and sit at home.
I have the money.
I have the house.
I have the books.
And I just want to sit at home
read those books and chill for the rest of my life.
There's nothing wrong with it. But
it seems like I'm breaking some fundamental law of the universe.
How can I do nothing?
How can I be nothing?
What will people think about me
if I am unemployed?
I am just 29 for God's sake.
What will the society think of me?
Everybody's doing something.
Everybody's someone.
It doesn't matter if I hate my job.
It doesn't matter if I don't need it.
I have to be something.
I have to be someone.
Otherwise I'll be an outsider.
I'll be no-one.
Because
Because no one values nothing.
Well, it's pretty much the same for weddings.
If you don't spend like a maniac in your wedding.
You are nothing.
You are no-one.
And it's hard to break out of that thinking pattern.
More so, when almost every other
human around you is behaving the same way.
We are a social species.
And if we do something
that is majorly different from the herd,
it causes anxiety.
It causes stress.
And so
I feel for everybody who has to go on this spending spree
during weddings so that they can be perceived as
'normal' functioning members of the society.
Because the sad truth is,
deep down somewhere,
we all know how abnormal this collossal waste of money is.
Well, as Mr. Gandhi once remarked,
So start by spending less in YOUR wedding.
And one by one if everybody starts doing this
then it will no will longer be the norm to spend excessively on a wedding.
So I repeat again.
If you want to see a change,
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