Whatever it is you have to do, just think about it...
what can happen?
In 99% of cases, nothing can happen.
If you say something, and it's wrong, you can always say
"oops!"
I was wrong
I've said that on television
who cares?
I might be popular, I might not be popular, but
people will always respect honesty
in a thing like that
So, you try it
maybe it works directly
you try it again...
It will work better. You try it again
and so on...
In this way, you work up
the confidence.
You work up believing in yourself
Chris: So... the scenario is
one guy says something on stage, but he's a little bit
of himself
and doesn't get much of a response.
Someone else says it
but with more confidence in what they're saying
and they get a massive round of applause
How does that work?
Frank: Pretty well! Hehe
It works in all different situations
you have that amongst others;
You have that situation when you're sitting in the classroom as a child
and your ordinary teacher is sick
and a substitute is coming in.
When you think about it...
You see already when this person comes into the room
Whether he has confidence or not.
The same second this person comes in
the kids know alreadyy
"This guy we can make shit with"
"We can make him feel like shit!"
"Like the worst part of shit!"
And another guy comes in,
since I'm a teacher I've been trying that many times,
coming in as a substitute.
Going in, and have them right away.
It works right away, without any kind of a problem
and I'm not doing anything; I'm not threatening them
I'm not throwing them out of the window or anything
nothing at all.
I just sit together with them
and start working
and they know immediately
that this Frank...
It's no use to try to
make him
a fool.
He makes us fools, yeah?
And the same thing goes up when you
come up into University
Exactly the same, "we have this professor
he is the biggest *blablabla*
and... or the other one says
"we got a professor, wow!
this guy doesn't need a microphone or anything, he just talks"
and everybody listens to him, it's something
you have inside of you or you dont
But you can learn how to get it
inside of you. You can learn to have
more confidence in yourself.
And the higher you come; and older you grow
You need more and more confidence.
And the easier it becomes to learn
how to have confidence - that's the funny thing
you just have to overcome
your fear, "I'm never going to
do that, I'm never going to manage"
to "I know what it takes
and since I know what it takes, I can also
present it.
So it's up to you completely, I've helped
many, many people to do that.
It always works.
Chris: How can someone work on becoming
more confident?
Frank: It depends on the person
You can never say "for everybody
without confidence they have to do this, that and the other
It doesn't work
I have to look at you, and I have to see "aha!
there is his problem." and then I take away the problem
and you can function, and the more you
start feeling functionable
the better it becomes
Chris: So a lack of self confidence always exists in the mind
how does that work? Is it an experience
someone has had
that they've held on to
and now it's in their subconscious. How does it normally work?
It works like...
"I'm doing something,
and I'm giving my best
and I see that it actually works
and my brain remembers it
the next time I'm going to do it, the brain remembers that
I actually do have those skills
Maybe not all of them, but the brain rememebers
that a little bit of it
has been there!
And the next time you have a little bit more
and a little bit more, and at the end
you are the one who gives the lectures.
Because you can't cheat your own brain.
You can lie to your brain, the brain will tell you
"Ha ha ha"
Your brain will also tell you "I've been fooling
myself for many years
that I can't do this, that and the other
and now..
"Frank, or whoever it was
told me and showed me
all the things I thought I never could do
I can do them!"
"and he made me do them!"
and it feels so good.
Coming the next time and being able to do more
'Learning by Doing'
A very simple recipe
very efficient REPESEE
recipe... recipe1
Chris: With the initial
process is that you have to first
do the thing you're scared of
How do people tell their mind
How do they give it importance enough to be able
to push past that initial barrier - the 'fear'
Well whatever it is that you have to do
just think about it, what can happen?
In 99% of cases, nothing can happen
If you say something and it's wrong, then you can always
say, "oops!"
there I was wrong.
I've said that on TV, who cares?
I might be popular, I might not be popular but
people will always respect
honesty in a thing like that
So, you try it
maybe it works directly, maybe you try it again
It will work better, you try it again
and so on
in this way you work up
the confidence, you work up
believing in yourself.
and if you have a chance to actually prepare
what you are doing, then the risk or the
chance of doing it 100%
is even bigger - much bigger
Just don't expect from yourself
that you are a master before you have done anything
even the best master
has been studying one time
and has been learning
until he comes higher and higer and higher
and feels...
"Look here, people do actually
respect me"
and then it goes much easier
Another thing is
just think about it...
what do you have to lose?
"Well people will think about me..."
What people?!
Who the hell do they care about you?
Why should they? Are you such a popular
such a well known person that
they say "look here!"
thats him!!
and he's an idiot!
Look around, how many of the people here
do actually know you?How many do you know!?
Then why the hell should you be afraid of talking to them ?
So if you go and talk to them, which I
can do at any time you want me to
and I do it here through this medium
yeah?
Most people don't care who you are
you are not that important in their life.
If you think about it correctly
then you'll find out that.,.
people care more about themselves
and about their own fear of failing
than listening to you
and saying "this is wrong. this is wrong.."
"Oh this idiot!" or anything like that!
Who cares?
Chris! You're playing around with your phone!
Am I so boring? Hahaha!
I'm joking! Chris: I was recording on Instagram at the same time - sorry
a bit distracting...
Chris: You were saying who cares what people think
Do you think that other people's opinions is what
holds most people back from trying something new?
Frank: You have to think about
who cares about you.
Why should they care about you so much so
they listen to ever word and say
"this is wrong, this is wrong..."
are you that important?
So that they can't cope without
listening to you and saying "this is a jerk"
"he's STUPID!"
They will listen to you
many of the things you talk about they don't
understand
So why criticize you when they don't understand
it themselves
and if they do understand it
the mind does something strange...
the mind listens, and transforms
what you say into what it should be
and at the end you say "is there anyone who could help
me a little bit? Tell me! You
know much more than I do"
"So please just help me" You will see
that this person who maybe has been able to switch it over
he will say "yeah you said that about this thing
but maybe you should use this frame" PERFECT!
Thank you very, very much
Chris: That's why we encourage criticism and things like that
on Instagram! Frank: Exactly..
That's totally right
and that's why we've been lucky for 3/4 years
now
and sending so many programs out
and up to now, even so we have
asked people to tell us "can you find
something wrong?"
Do you have a better idea? Please
just write to us, or call us
do whatever you feel like, yeah?
I am not only talking just to hear all the time
Fantastic! Oh good! Fantastic and so on...
I'm here just like everyone else
to LEARN.
Has it occurred to you that being a Doctor, Dr. Frank
that it doesn't mean
that I can know everything?
Has it occurred to you
that if you look only at psychology as such
I think you could study for 2,000 years
without covering everything!
And has it occurred to you, that what is right for you
within psychology, musn't be right for him
or her
All people are unique in their way
and that means also that they react in
unique ways
Isn't it then normal that if I tell you
"oh you're like that and that "
that there is a big chance that I'm wrong ?
and if I'm good at what I'm doing
I tell you that I might be totally wrong.
I am not afraid of saying that because
everyone is learning
I am 73
I hope I live many years yet
and I hope
that I'm going to learn even more years
even after I'm dead
because there is such an enormous amount to learn
and I don't know it yet!
Không có nhận xét nào:
Đăng nhận xét