Swipe left, swipe right, swipe 100 times.
Do a 200 questions quiz to find out who you should date.
Always ensure that your reply is shorter than his.
Play hard to get so that he would value you higher than the 100 other girls he is messaging.
Love in the 21st century has reached the height of complexity and confusion.
Adding on its complexity, we can no longer trust what we see.
How many of you have this app?
How many of you edit your selfies before posting them online?
Ok ok fine, I will come clean, I do!
Anybody else?
For those who have put up your hands, thank you so much for your honesty.
This is a photo I took of myself a few days ago.
Now witness the magic.
With a few clicks, I can change the shape of my face, put on make up, make myself slimmer
and even elongate my legs.
Voila!
Amazing isn't it?
I can see many stunned faces in the audience, especially the guys.
Guys, are you getting worried?
😆
A famous dating app recently revealed that in
order to maximize the number of matches that they can make, they would not show Boy 1 to
Girl 1 even though they have a 90% match.
Instead, they will show Boy 1 to Girl 2, and Boy 2 to Girl 1 who have a 70% match rate.
By doing this, they can now match 4 people instead of 2.
From a mathematical and business perspective, this makes complete sense.
From Boy 1's and Girl 1's perspective, they might feel cheated that they have not
been shown their best match.
To make it more complicated, we can no longer trust the authenticity of the messages we
receive.
Other than the love scammers on the internet, some dating industry players are creating
bots to lure users to pay.
When it comes to dating apps, guys have it worse because the gender balance is 70% men,
30% women.
So, imagine David, a successful, sincere single guy looking for love, and he received this
message.
And to reply to the hot and gorgeous Jennifer, he has to pay.
By now, David has received multiple rejections and countless non-replies from other ladies
that he has been trying to message.
So like many other guys, he whipped out his credit card and pays...... only to be
disappointed when he's greeted by a deafening silence.
Some quick advice...
Guys, no sane, normal, logical lady would send this message as an opener.
So, if you received this, it is definitely a bot or a scammer.
14 years ago, my husband and I emptied our life savings and started our dating company
and since then, we have arranged more than 100,000 dates.
We have evolved from a pure brick and mortar business, to having an online matchmaking
platform, mobile dating app, date coaching division and recently a lifelong relationship
advisor built on blockchain and AI.
We have witnessed the transformation of the dating landscape from the traditional one-to-one,
face-to-face dating to today's world of digital dating where singles are reduced to
a single photo to be swiped left or right.
If the photo is not to their liking, they will not bother to read the profile description
you have painstakingly (slowly) written.
Chatting has become like mini dates - every question, every reply, every emoticon is used
to judge and scrutinise whether they want to continue with the conversation.
You know the answer is a big fat no when you have been blue ticked or ghosted.
Can I have a quick show of hands of those who have friends who are single?
If you ask your friends why they are single, I bet their answer
would be - I have not met the right one.
Many singles believe they are single because they have a meeting problem.
Being an industry veteran, I have learnt that finding the right one is not only about the
meeting the right one.
It is also about being the right one and choosing the right one.
Are we the right one ourselves?
Do we have the right mindset and the right skillset to attract the right one when we
meet him or her?
Most ladies who come to my dating service, they want a guy who is 1.75m and above.
It does not matter whether they are 1.5m or 1.7m.
I remember asking a 1.5m lady, "Why do you need someone who's so tall?"
She said, "Violet, so I can still wear my 6 inches high heels and rest my head on his
shoulders.
Ladies, I'm sure you already know whether the guy is 1.65 or 1.85m has no correlation
to whether he would be a good husband or a fantastic father.
The important question to ask ourselves is - When we are looking for our perfect life
partner, are we focusing just on superficial criteria, or are we looking out for significant
criteria that would build and sustain a long-term and meaningful relationship?
I would know all about superficial criteria.
Growing up, I was constantly being criticized for my looks.
My mum's friends would say, "Her eyes are so small, like 2 small slits, can find
boyfriend or not?"
"Her skin condition is so bad, so many pimples…"
Being always on the plump side, having bad skin and small eyes did not help with my self-esteem.
When boys in school approach me, it is not because they wanted to know me; they wanted
an introduction to my prettier friends.
When I was 15, my best friend who's a guy told me, "If I am a girl, and I am not pretty,
I would rather die!"
I remembered growing increasingly resentful.
It's not fair.
They did nothing right to be pretty and get all the attention.
And I did nothing wrong to look ugly and be sidelined.
I eventually snapped out of my self-pity and focused on what I could change.
I cannot change how I look, but I could change who I am.
I worked on my communication, public speaking and leadership skills.
Over the years, I still look the same, but my self-confidence grew and I became comfortable
in my own skin.
When I pursued my degree abroad, I decided to run for President of a student society.
On election day, I noticed sitting behind me this handsome senior whom I had met at
a group dinner and shared a cab with a few days ago.
I turned around to say hi.
He looked at me blankly, and said, "I am sorry, but have we met?"
I was utterly crushed.
I could not believe he did not even remember me before.
I decided to put on a brave face, continued with the conversation and kept up my positive
and confident demeanor.
A few months later, we bumped into each other again.
At that point, I was at the rock bottom of my physical eligibility.
I was still overweight, having a yet another massive pimple outbreak and now my friends
are nagging me about my poor dress sense.
Yet, this handsome and eligible guy who some say is the best looking senior in accounting
and finance asked me out for a date!
3 months later, he asked me to be his girlfriend.
5 years later, he asked for my hand and we got married.
The ugly duckling had found her prince charming, something I never dared to believe just 10
years ago.
I remembered asking him, "Why did you choose me?"
He said he was attracted to my confidence and my positivity.
And with that I have learnt that even if the world labels us ugly, we can always create
our own definition of beauty.
Today, my husband Jamie and I… have been together for 18 years 2 months and 20 days.
Imagine... if Jamie and I were to meet today on a dating app, where he saw me first as
a photo... he would definitely have swiped left.
Remember?
He did not even recall the first time we met.
I was not his "type".
And we would have never met, never dated, never gotten married, never started our beautiful
family, never founded a dating company together, never created more than 100,000 dates, never
coached thousands of singles, and we would have never brought together thousands of happily
married couples.
And I will not be standing here sharing with you my story.
Technology has successfully brought together countless of connections.
However, dating apps are corporations.
The technology created is meant to maximise revenues, profits, app usage and keep you
online as long as possible.
Strange as it sounds, whether an individual dater succeeds or not, that's not always
their no.1 priority.
At our offline dating service, we always insist on a blind date as we do not want our clients
to be judged by photos alone.
When you meet in person, you are not just another image to be swiped right or left.
You are not just another pixel that is manipulated to look attractive.
When you meet in person, you are not attract your looks; you also attract with your voice,
your personality, your composure and your personal story.
Use technology for what it has to offer.
But, please do not leave your love life to algorithms alone.
Do not get sucked into the vortex of swiping and chatting because dating that stays online
stays superficial.
Stack the odds in your favour by meeting in person as quickly as possible.
Seek out opportunities for face to face encounters.
Because what dating apps and algorithms do not tell you is… true love happens offline.
Thank you and God bless.
Không có nhận xét nào:
Đăng nhận xét