Hey this is Seth Welling and today we're going to do a little something
different. Last weekend, my girlfriend Janelle Chronic mom voice did two videos
about me and one of them was more about me. The other one was my influence
on her and I think I'm going to do response to each video because well the
first one I actually the first one is dating with a disability and I actually
should do a response because she's talking about how to date a person
with a disability and questions to ask - and I would like to give some input on that
She's right by the way. The next statement is Having a disability does not make
you inferior I agree with this of course just a person of disability when I was
in college when I was in college there were special ed Department at my college
and there was this woman there who used the wheelchair now she wasn't born with
that disability she acquired one she was sheet-rocking her house when a big piece of sheet rock
fell on her and she used a wheelchair I don't know
if at home she was able to walk using countertops and walls but at work
where she needed to be safe so she was in the wheelchair you know accidents can
happen to people like I said before and just because big piece of sheetrock
falls on you does not make you an inferior person. It makes you a person with a
disability. It makes you disabled before everyone else is. Cause, you know we're all going to get disabilities, diabetes
strokes something like that so doesn't mean you inferior next question.
having a disability doesn't make you less capable no, it doesn't make you
less capable you may need help with some things that you didn't need help with
before but everyone needs help Superman doesn't exist so everyone
needs help now and again and if you're that shallow you need to be more empathetic
because someday you're going have a problem and if you're not empathetic there'll be no one
around to help you. I've always been empathetic. A it's part
of my personality. B I know I know I need help with some stuff well I have
spastic cerebral palsy and some days my left shoe won't go on because of my leg is
too spastic you know other days it goes on fine. I know I'm gonna need help on
those days though and just makes me want to be more empathetic to someone who always always
always needs help with their shoes or feeding or anything they need help with.
because I'm grateful that I have the capabilities that I have I'm thankful
because people want to help me so I also want to help people
just because you gotta pay it forward. last week or the before was paid for day and I like to think that I pay it forward everyday
just because you gotta pay it forward. anything they're being born every day it's not just one day of the year it's 365, 366
days a year. Pay it forward because it's not like something you check off on a list it just
helps society out It helps people out next thing she says in my experience
they're more capable of love meaning in my experience people with disabilities are
more capable of love. Some people are. Some people aren't. I think I'm glad that she has
better experiences with disabled people's or non-disabled people because
she's just in the other video she's gonna talk about how she has a lot of bad
relationships because she didn't really know parts of herself and you know she
went off after the wrong guys for her but they're not the wrong guys for everyone
but everybody's gonna type. I need a tomboy I need a woman who's strong and doesn't
depend on me to be a breadwinner or whatever that thing is pumping gas you
know carrying her over a threshold really it would be dangerous if I carried Janelle over
threshold.
maybe I should rent a wheelchair because ether I'm gonna have to use a
wheelchair to carry her over that threshold or if she's going to be the
wheelchair when I do and I drop her on her back It's capable of love that's... I'm glad
she has a positive experience but not before disabilities a nice some people
are angry when you can't blame them you can't blame them well they should try to
you're past that but it's a natural human emotion anger
is being angry when you can't do things that other people do. Imagine
if you can't drive Like, we live in New Hampshire and there's a bus system but
it only runs on weekdays and not weekend with everyone get together and you have to
ride around with mom when you're 50 years old you know and all your non-disabled
friends are out driving Corvettes for all you care, you know and you can't do that It's
a hard thing to overcome Fortunately, I can drive and I've
driven since I was 16 so I really feel for some people I know who can't drive because
it's just a big pain it's more than a pain I can't say when it's like when
it's on video to bleep myself but yeah it's not all
people with disabilities are noce and I'm glad she has experience some people who
have been nice to her because she should have someone she does she has me but
she needs someone to be nice to her but she's really a nice person
the next one is you've got to ask the questions and it's okay to ask questions and
I support this 150% because if you don't ask questions you won't know anything and
it's okay to ask questions. I will answer questions all day and
as long as they're not stupid questions like like why are you retarded
of you know be sensitive about it don't be an AAAA I almost said don't be a jerk
you know ask the kind of questions that you would want answers just don't be a jerk
about it and next question is you may have to be friends first I I fully
support this because she says she doesn't do hookups like hookups I hate hookups cause it's so skeezy.
College story: when I was in college and not grad school I was forced out of my
room by a fire drill because I lived in a freshman dorm
those people are just the most inconsiderate people ever because they
just think OH I'M at college the rules don't apply
I'm gonna pull fire alarms and do all kinds of stupid things when I'm just trying to
sleep so every time we have a fire pull and weird the whole floor would be
charged and I wasn't usually there but this time I was might have been on a weeknight.
so I went to his other dorm and this woman this girl: I was a sophomore she was a
freshman she really really really wanted to give me into bed and dude I didn't
know her and you know I could have gone with her but really because I have
cerebral palsy, I am a lot more protective of myself then other 20 year olds are or
45 year olds are because I don't wanna get in there and have her tie me up to a bed or
doing something that hurts me you know I wanna get an old person to see
what kind of person they are first because I have a responsibility to
myself not to get myself killed so I emphatically said No to her when
everyone was probably one have said YES because I don't know if she has and this is assuming
but I don't know if she has some kind of a sexually transmitted infection
you know you gotta think of that because I don't carry condoms with me around
all the time because I'm really not going this have sex unless I want to
have sex and guys you shouldn't you shouldn't borrow page from women because
a lot of them are really smart and are not going to have sex
unless they want to. you know it's all right for a guy to say no
it's all right for a woman to say no just you know you don't have to do something
that you're going to regret in the morning and that's my biggest fear Regret like that like what do I
do? did I get someone pregnant? Did I get an
STI it's just not a good feeling I'm sure to wake up to
IF your friends are asking so many questions about for both of you for me and for her and you
and then there are too many questions can you date? Can you kiss? Can you, you know
You're already know that if you're friends and it's just nice because you
get the whole what do you like stuff out of the way to and next one is
can you have sex which obviously I can but that should part of the questions.
and answer phase and she goes back the say people are appreciate questions. Yes I
appreciate questions as long you're not a jerk about it and so does everyone
else so does everyone else it's not any
disability thing it's a human thing and she says don't ever assume and I support
that don't assume I can't have sex over zoom I can't drive so don't assume that
my voice sounds funny therefore I must be retarded you know no one likes that
and you know you may think someone's retarded
you know I shouldn't even be saying the word but I have to and those people are more
intuitive with non-disabled people they know when people are making fun of them
when people who are non-disabled don't and just flies right over the head but
people with disability who you might think are really bad they know stuff
that you don't know don't count them out
don't assume that they're just stupid they're not they have a better
understanding of human relations and most of us they know wouldn't you try
that pull one over on them and many times they do it anyway because they want
to be liked but they know about it and you know the whole point of asking questions is you
need to go know what you're getting in to and this this shouldn't be disabilities only thing
this should be a thing for everyone like Janelle has had two
relationships that just didn't work out for her because she and she'll tell you this she
didn't ask enough questions she didn't know what she was getting into
and she was going after the wrong guy because she's a tomboy and these guys were
looking for a princess being a tomboy is fine I love tomboys my mom is a tomboy
both grandmothers were tomboys and I'm just used to that. it's fine
but unfortunately for her she didn't even know
that she was a tomboy and that tomboys were different and girly girls which
were the guys she pursued wanted girly girls and tomboy is the antithesis of a girly girl
well sometimes they can be girly if they want to but their first instinct is to
not be girly and go ride dirt bikes or something you know even you've just
need someone boyfriend/girlfriend who accepted me when I did bikes it's not a
big deal so know what you're getting into and she says
people with disabilities can do almost anything but with modification we're
talking about some people disabilities have problem with erections well a lot
of people have problems with erections and I had a battery change! we
were talking about erections and saying a lot of people have problems with
erections a lot of men course doesn't have to be a disabled thing them that's why they
make viagra and you know you just deal with it
the modifications don't have to be huge or little you know it depends on
the person of course but it give me just a normal modification like when I roll
or maybe you know positioning when doing the deed I don't know it's very personal
and you have to ask about that But it doesn't mean that I can't be done and it doesn't mean that
II can't be great you just have to little different maybe
maybe not so different This next one probably the most
important things she's said in this video people with disabilities are just
like you and me I can't argue with that. I've been reiterating everyone will get a disability some time in their life.
people with disabilities are you and me eventually Maybe I'll get diabetes too. You know?
it's going that way. Half the country is probably going to have it
I don't have any problem with that. Last Question: The last one up is
probably more important than the one before
people with disability don't like to be treated as charity cases. Like I said before a couple of questions back
you may think that this person with a profound disability is stupid but they
probably know more about people than you do. they probably know they're making
fun of them they probably know by the way your face looks. like you're giving them a slight
lot of non-disabled people can't distinguish between that and a
normal smile so they the people with disabilities well surprise incredibly astute
in certain things because it's a defense thing it was like one of mine my
greatest defense mechanisms knowing people and like my girlfriend's daughter
some of her siblings don't like one of her friends I knew what the issue was
and it's not anything bad it's that he has more money than other people do
and it's a class issue and I knew it was a class issue by the way in which these
kids were reacting because I see it all the time on
certain Facebook posts people start being irrational and whether certain way and
you know exactly what they reacting to it's not the person but it's a socio-economic
thing I can diagnose it over the Internet because I've never met this guy
before I've never met my girlfriend's daughter I will meet them in July I'm looking forward to that a lot.
we're gonna rectify that soon
I'm really good at human nature types of things and if I see a bad person no like
someone who is truthful and they're telling you something I'll give you an
example Mitt Romney when Mitt Romney was running
for president I didn't like him I wouldn't vote for him because doesn't smile with his eyes
eyes if he smiles like this I'm not smiling with my eyes then you're lying
most likely you are lying if we're not smiling with your eyes and that's all he
would do to smile with his mouth and not his eyes: liar when you smile with your
mouth and not your eyes all you're doing you're showing teeth and I look at as an
aggression and I can do this doesn't have to be a famous person but I can fact
check I've done this across a crowded room and just 100% accurate because I
know what I'm looking at I know something's wrong and it's not even conscience my
body just get shivers and I know something's wrong I know what I'm
looking at when I was 18 I didn't know what I was looking at but now
I'm pretty much spot on.people don't like to be treated as charity cases you know
old people, people with disabilities just three people as you would treat yourself
and you'll be fine unless you treating yourself badly that's all of her
questions or statements on dealing with disabilities thank you for watching if
you like this video like subscribe hit my bells so you get my notifications and
visit my links in the comment box below if you want to see which camera I'm going
with today it's 70d which light I'm using you know our stuff mics and I hope you
have a good day
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